As I sit here with my daughter, I cannot fathom that she will be turning one in 2 very short days. Where has this year gone?! Then I sit back and just think about what 2015 brought. The challenges, new adjustments, new beginnings, beauty, frustration.. But it just seemed like yesterday that I was in the hospital, preparing for a natural birth. Yes, that was the plan. 36 hours later, an epidural, over and hour of pushing, and ending in a c section, arrived our beautiful baby girl--not boy like they told us. Haha! And where I got through 13 hours naturally--it didn't end that way—and that's okay. Did I feel like I failed my body? Yes. Did I believe that I got a DVT(blood clot) in my leg because of those choices? Yes. What came out of it tho is pure beauty. A beauty that changed mine and my husbands life. A beauty only God could of created. She has taken us for a ride, for sure! But I've enjoyed every bit of it. She knows how to make mommy worry.. there are many things Jarod kept between us, God and close family or friends. We were thankful that an abnormal newborn screen was negative for CF, but cried watching Hannah go through a sweat test at the Children's Hospital. I cried when I took Hannah in for that I thought was an ear infection from the "what to look for's", was actually a nutrition issue. That she weighed more at 2 months, than she did at 5 months, so I had to take her to the dr every week for weight checks for 6 weeks. Only to learn that she was not dehydrated but lacking calories. It was hard to hear that I could no longer just nurse her, but that I would have to supplement, and eventually no longer nurse by time she was 7 months.
I refused to believe the diagnosis on the paper that said "failure to thrive". She is no where near that diagnosis anymore.
If I had to ever want something more to begin my 2015 year, it was just that. So to go in to the new year, I can't wait to see what 2016 brings.
But what I can say that I want to bring is new beginnings that are for me. The bible says in Ephesians, that we are to throw off our old self, and live a new life in Christ Jesus. What would it look like to start the new year off, living a new life in Christ Jesus? To let him into your life, and call him your savior??
Recently, I've joined back with my college friends and started a bible study. I am so excited for this, as they are so incredibly amazing, and to have a group of ladies to talk about life and Jesus, over a cup of coffee is perfection. So divinely put together.
What I've fallen short of, is spending time with God. I want more than anything for God to be my first priority of the day. However, I've gotten lost in the world of a device. Not only does this take away from God, but so much it takes away from my family. So what I've chosen to do, as a new beginning of 2016, is to take a social media hiatus. Will I be on every now and then? Yes. But I choose to blog and that's how I will choose to stay updated. You may keep up with my family on Instagram, and via my email, or telephone. Social media has taken too much of my attention and while it has amazing intentions and purposes, I am taking those for granted. So as the new year begins, you will see less of me, but I pray you see more of Him.
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